


POV: You're a cabbage

by Swugiest_Swugflower



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Avatar Modern AU, Avatar crack, Crack, Crack Relationships, Daddy Kink, Implied Sexual Content, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Multi, One Shot, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, atla crack, baby girl - Freeform, sokka is losing his mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swugiest_Swugflower/pseuds/Swugiest_Swugflower
Summary: You are nothing but a humble cabbage, getting bought by an old man. Excited for the rest of your short life, he takes you on the weekend trip for him and his family
Relationships: Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Jet/Katara (Avatar), Jet/Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	POV: You're a cabbage

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask me what this is. It started as a simple crawdaddy joke and somehow this happened. Enjoy! (Also pls don't bully me for my bad English lol)

My life was a good one. A nice old man cared for me and my family when I was still young and innocent. He helped me grow, took care of me, and kept me safe from illness and being eaten alive. Though, ironically, he only keeps us alive so that we can be eaten later. But that is fine. That is my purpose as a cabbage.

Saying goodbye to my family wasn’t easy, but we were prepared. I found new friends on the cabbage stand I was put on sale. Oh, how excited I was when this nice old man came to pick me up and a couple of my friends. He looked like he greatly enjoyed food.

I liked his voice and the story he told the merchant. That he needed me and my friends for a family weekend. So, it seemed like my end would be fun at least.

What followed were some hours of car ride in a nice and chilled box. It was cramped, but I felt safe.

As soon as we reached the big lake house, I could hear laughter and a lot of voices. They shouted and greeted each other. When I was moved into the kitchen, a tall man with strong cheekbones laid his hand upon me and complimented the old man on how pretty and perfect I was. I felt good.

The final stop in my life seemed to be the big and open kitchen, on a nice and safe counter. I could see the dinner table from it, how nice.

Watching all the humans create dinner around me was exciting and fun. There was a lot going on. Three grown-ups, - the old man, a man with the strong cheekbones and a very tall man, with his hair in a top knot – as well as a couple of younger folks. The kids of the cheekbone man, a girl and a boy, the old man’s nephew, and some friends of them. A wild girl, a tall and silent young man and a guy that constantly chewed on some plant. In a quiet moment, I heard the cheekbone man say to the topknot man, that he was confused why the three were even there with them. The old man asked his nephew the same question just before dinner started.

The dinner seemed nice enough. One of my friends ended up in the salad, but I was happy for them. What a pleasure to be eaten by this lovely group of people.

They seemed to have fun until the daughter asked the very simple question: »Could you pass me the salad, Daddy?«

The chewer, cheekbone man AND topknot man reacted and reached for the bowl.

Even I, a simple cabbage, could feel the vibe changing.

»What was that?« asked the son and looked at his group of people in horror.

»Nothing!« answered the topknot man and looked at the cheekbone man. »Don’t think about it, Sokka.«

Ah, the first name. Sokka.

»No, no,« Sokka insisted. »Why did you AND Dad and… Jet react? Why would call Katara anyone of you Daddy, but our actual father?«

»Yes, Bato!« Cheekbone looked at Bato, the topknot man. »Why would Katara call you Daddy?«

»I don’t know.«

»So why would you react?«

Bato didn’t answer and just ate his salad in silence. None of the others reacted or answered either.

A couple of minutes passed until the situation seemed to be forgotten. My green lettuce heart felt light again. I felt like this was my family now and I didn’t want them to suffer through awkward situations.

Sadly, I and my newfound family couldn’t enjoy the peace for long. The chewer, with the strangest eyebrows I had ever seen, finished his drink and asked: »Would you refill my cup, Babygirl?«

The nephew, the daughter and cheekbone reacted. They stared at each other horrified.

»You… you did it again!« screamed Sokka and looked at our not-lettuce family. »Why would you react, Dad? Why would Jet call you Babygirl?«

»Good question, Hakoda. Do I sound like a teenage boy to you?« asked Bato.

»No, but…«

Sokka jumped up. »Now stop again. Why would Bato call you Babygirl?« His facial expression shifted, as he seemed to understand. »Wait no. Dad said, that Katara would never call Bato Daddy. But… he still reacted. And... Bato implied that Dad should only react to the name Babygirl, when he says it.« He sat down again, hiding his face in his hands. »No, no, no. This can’t be true.«

Cheekbones cheekbones turned bright red. »Sokka, I…,« he started but was cut off by the chewer, whose name seemed to be Jet.

»So, Bato, you’re the Daddy, too?« A smirk showed up on his face.

Bato only said: »Yes.«

I felt my green guts sink, as they high fived each other. The old man giggled.

»Jet, why are you trying to say?« Sokka called out, with tears in his eyes. »Both Katara and Zuko broke up with you and date each other – which is weird enough but let's not talk about that.«

»Sokka,« said the daughter, Katara, and looked onto her plate. »You might remember that… back in the day, I used to call Jet Daddy. And he called me Babygirl.«

»Yes, I still have nightmares from it, thanks for asking.«

»But the thing you don’t know is that I called him Daddy as well,« the nephew confessed. He looked at Katara. »So, when Katara and I started dating, we had to discover that none of us wanted to be… Daddy. We both wanted to be Babygirl.«

Despite not having a mouth, my green mouth hung up open in surprise. What a twist.

»What? Zuko, you are kidding me right now. Please say you are kidding me.«

»No, we aren’t,« Jet said and smiled. Sitting in between Katara and Zuko, he started holding hands with both of them. »So, they called me up. And how could Daddy so no, when his cute Babygirls ask him to date both?«

The son stood up again, before falling back down on his chair. I could feel his reaction deep in my crisp core. He screamed and looked around at the table. »Why are you all so chill? Dad, this weird man just said told you that your only daughter calls him Daddy.«

Hakoda shrugged. »I call this weird man Daddy, so who am I to judge?« he answered and pointed to topknot on his side. Bato laughed at took Hakodas hand in his own.

»Longshot, Smellerbee? What about you. This is weird!«

The girl laughed out loud. »I’m sorry to disappoint you. It’s fucking Jet. We are used to worse.«

The silent young man nodded in agreement.

»Also, Longshot was actually the one who gave Jet the whole Daddy idea,« she said while whipping a tear from her face from laughing too hard.

Sokka shook his head and grabbed his phone while walking out of the room.

For a second it was silent, but sadly not for long. I missed the days at the field.

»So, my nephew. You are not only interested in boys and girls, but you are dating them at the same time?« the old man wanted to know and smiled at Zuko.

The nephew suddenly looked scared and looked at his datemates in shock. »Uncle, I’m so sorry that you had to find out this way! I… we… we planned this trip so that we could tell you. All of you, actually.«

»We certainly found out a lot today,« said Bato and laughed. The rest of the gathering joined him.

»I hate all of you!« Sokka suddenly screamed and walked back in. He slammed his phone on the table. »I just called Suki for some support and she laughed so hard, that she started crying. Toph next to her suggested that she could start calling me Babygirl! Suki laughed even harder. And Toph ended the call by calling me Daddy! I hate this so much!«

»My young friend, maybe it’s time for a nice cup of chamomile lavender tea for your nerves,« the old man suggested.

»No no no no no, Iroh. Please don’t tell me that you have a part in this whole mess, too. If you are dating Hakoda and Bato I will drown myself in the lake!«

Iroh laughed like he laughed when he bought me, back in another life. »No, Sokka. I’m not. I’ve also never been called Daddy, but… let us just say, I like pretty ladies and they like me. And this isn’t the first time I’ve encountered weird pet names in relationships. But everyone involved seems to be happy, so who are we to judge?«

I, the cabbage waiting to be eaten, had to agree. My merchant used to call us sweethearts.

Sokka seemed to disagree. Once again, he screamed, before walking away from the table. This time he walked right into the kitchen and grabbed me. When he put me over his head, I knew my end was near.

The fall was quick and I didn’t feel anything as I slammed onto the ground, as I’m just a plant, slowly dying since being cut from my stem. But it was okay. My life was fulfilled and fun. And I certainly enjoyed my last evening with my new family.

Maybe Sokka should have slammed himself into the ground instead of me.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah yes. I've peaked here. I might post more, but don't expect anything better from me. Ever.


End file.
